I have been on and off of dating sites my whole adult life. When these sites first started, most photos were appropriate, and people tried to put their best photos online to attract a partner. But over the past several years I have noticed more and more odd, weird, and downright inappropriate images pop up. And the latest one even had me scratching my head and wondering what they were thinking (or not)

And while I have a whole list of photo blunders, I will go over 4 today that I see on so many male profiles. Ladies, if you use these, this applies to you also, but I don’t see female profiles, so I can only comment on what I see. As I go over them, I will give you my thoughts about them

1. Bathroom and Bathroom Mirror Photos

Okay, I get you may not be a pro at taking a selfie, but there are better ways to get a good photo. NO ONE wants to see your bathroom, shower curtain, toilet, and many times messy sink in your photo. Your background DOES matter and the bathroom is NOT the place for a dating profile photo. Many times, the angle and lighting are weird, and if you use a flash, it will reflect in the mirror.

If you are not good at taking a selfie, ask a friend to take a few photos of you in an outdoor setting. Be sure to change what you are wearing or take photos at different times and places so all your photos do not appear staged and like they were done in a photo shoot. Outdoor lighting is usually the best and most flattering, and it gives the photo depth and interesting, usually bright colors. This is the best choice if you want attractive photos on your profile.

2. Bed and Bedroom Photos

Listen, guys, I know you may think these are cute and what you may have on your mind, but if you want to attract a quality woman, this is not going to fly. If I see bed and bedroom photos, I ALWAYS swipe left. Why? Well, think about what you are implying with that photo.

A QUALITY woman will want you to appreciate her for who she is, and that means her mind and what she thinks. Most women have spent their entire lives fielding catcalls and inappropriate comments from men. Most quality women want to be respected for who they are and NOT what they look like. Sure, women want you to find them attractive, but that comes way later after you have shown her respect and that you actually like who she is.

Bedroom photos suggest you see women as objects of your own selfish desires, and that is what you are looking for. And while I understand that some of you are looking for that, if you truly do want to find the right woman, then you have to BE the right man first. I see so many profiles that say the men are looking for a “good woman” but have the men in photos lying in a bed. What is that??? Are they looking for a good woman or a woman good at ___________ (you fill in the blank)? Unless a woman is after that one thing, also, then these photos will not work to attract the RIGHT one.

Instead of trying to look sexy, try showing your personality in photos. Most dating profiles lack personality and fun, so try a few fun photos that really show who you are. Ask friends and family to take some photos of you doing things you enjoy!

3. Photos Without a Shirt

I find it truly amazing how many men over 40, 50, and even 60, post photos of themselves without a shirt on. SWIPE LEFT!

I don’t care how good you think you are built, no man over should have photos on their profile without a shirt. And that includes photos at the beach and pool. Find different pictures.

I am not sure if men have an unrealistic idea of what they look like or just don’t care, but most of these photos show man boobs, beer bellies, and other things that we just don’t need to see. I will always swipe left if a man is shirtless. I do NOT want to see this on a profile before I even know who someone is – EVER. Most of the time, the photos will cause me to swipe left and nto even look at anything else in the profile.

Listen, as we age, things change. you do not have the body you did in your 20’s, and that is actually okay. BUT that does not mean we want to see it yet either! I understand that you are potentially showing things you love, and many people do love the summer and the beach and the pool. However, if you want to attract a quality woman, then keeping your shirt on is a must.

Guys, middle age and beyond is not the time to show off your naked chest in photos. Those times are over, even if you go to the gym and look great, women 40 and over really want to know who you are and not what your body looks like. That comes much later. So, put your shirt on before snapping photos, or use different photos. There is plenty of time for the rest in real life.

4. Midsection photos – I Cannot Even Believe This is a Thing!

This is something that has popped up on dating sites over the past year or so. Men, seriously, what is up with the midsection photos. No face or feet in the photo – just the midsection. I have asked a few men this question, and NONE have actually responded. No surprise there.

This is definitely a swipe left, ladies. Whether they are proud of their physique or they want you to check out their package, it is just wrong. And if this is what is important to them, then, ladies, you do not want this guy.

Personally, I do not care what one’s midsection looks like. I am not looking for a midsection, I am looking for a MAN – the WHOLE man. And who a man is has NOTHING to do with his midsection and everything to do with what is between his ears.

Men, if you truly want to attract a quality woman, they are interested in WHO YOU ARE! That means you have to have conversations and actually DO things with them to get to know them. Showing off your midsection shows us (well, me anyway) that you are quite shallow, have one thing in mind, or will be hypercritical of a woman’s body – none of which is appealing.

Ladies, if you want to find a quality man, then this is not the guy for you. No quality man would post this type of photo. And the fact that men who have posted these could not even explain them to me, well…. that says a lot.

As I am on my quest to find the ONE for me, I encounter so many of the ones NOT right for me. I write to help others make sense of this crazy online dating space. And, as a marketer, I bring expertise and insight into what I write. As a Christian, I view profiles from a Christian perspective and not a worldly perspective. After all, It is a quality Christian man I am looking for.

And while I understand that may not be who you are looking for, I believe these principles apply across the board if you truly do want to find the right ONE and only one. After all, what you see in a dating profile does tell a lot about how one thinks and what their motives and agendas are. It is important to have a quality profile that will attract quality dates.

If you are looking to upgrade your dating profile, check out the Work with Me tab. I can help you upgrade the quality of dates you attract. You are worth the small investment!