The Dilemma for Women Who Have Been Forced to Do It All
If I had a dollar for every man who made the observation that I am busy, I would be on my way to wealth. In fact, that is probably the number one reason I rarely ever get asked out on a date. Yes, really!
As a woman who has been single most of her life, I have been forced to earn good money, or at least aspire to it in order to live an okay life in a neighborhood that is relatively free of crime. The pressure of earning a so-called “man’s salary” as a woman in industries where I have been blatantly discriminated against as a female, had forced to be my own person and make my own name for myself. And yes, gender discrimination in equal pay does still exist.
I have put in long hours for less pay than the men I know only to make less money and have to work longer and harder than they have to get even close to the same compensation and respect.
So, imagine how it feels for me when a man comments on me being busy, or worse yet, “too busy to date.”
Here are the cold, hards facts, men. If a woman wants to find love and have a relationship, she is NEVER “too busy to date.” The assumption on your part of this is 100% off base, and here is why:
- You are assuming something you know nothing about
- You are basing your assumption on a situation where she is single and not in a relationship
- You do NOT understand that she has to work longer and harder just to get only a portion of what you get for less time and effort
- If her career or business is what is taking her time, you are not the one paying her bills, so your judgment is 100% inappropriate unless you volunteer to pay all of that for her.
- You assume she is too busy for you, but yet you have not earned a place in her life yet.
- The busyness was there before you arrived on the scene and probably exists because no one stepped up to the plate to date her.
I have had this very statement said to me in so many ways and so many times, that I know I could write a book on this topic. But here are a few cold, hard FACTS about my situation:
- I RARELY even get to go on a date because men make assumptions about my life and know nothing about it
- If men have not taken the time to get to know me and EARN a place in my life, I feel they have no right to make ANY claim on my time, now or in the future.
- Men do not understand how hard it has been being single my whole life, and when they make assumptions without knowing the facts, it feels a lot like they resent me for doing exactly what they feel they have the right to do – earn a living!
- I established my business when I was single. It is important to me and it requires my time. If you cannot handle that, then maybe you are not the one for me because I deserve a man who admires what I am doing and supports me 100%.
- Unless you are paying my bills for me, then you have no say as to how much time my business requires.
- I sit at home most weekends because NO ONE asks me out.
- I hear ALL THE TIME, how pretty I am and why am I not “taken,” married, etc. – Well, you tell me, gentlemen, because you are the ones not asking me out!
So, instead of being so needy by requiring her time WAY before you have earned it, why don’t you look at the busy woman as a force of nature that you are lucky you know. For she has sure been through more than you could ever imagine, worked harder than Superman, and is smarter than most. Of course, that would mean that you cannot be intimidated by a smart woman, also!
Appreciate the tenacity it took for her to get to where she is. Admire her commitment to the impact she is trying to make in the world, and love her for all of it!
Do you really want someone who is at your beck and call every moment of every day, has no opinions, cannot think for themselves, and has no ambition at all? If you want that, then you are definitely not for me, and that is okay because there is someone out there for you who is not all of these things. Go find her!