If you have ever tried online dating, you probably have a few stories to tell. I took a break from those sites for a long time. Years, in fact.
Well, I just was not meeting quality men, and I don’t have the time for anything less than that. I also have been focusing on my business and I find most men on those sites to be less than understanding of the time commitment that means.
So, after being on pandemic lockdown for the better part of a year, I decided to see what the dating scene had in store for me – a so-called middle-aged entrepreneur who is a Christian and puts that first and foremost.
It took less than 24 hours for me to see why I left it behind for so long.
I am heartbroken. Really.
I was using the Facebook dating app and I reject at least 90% of the people who “like” me because they are clearly going by looks and not considering me, the person.
Then I came across a profile that had me totally intrigued. I wanted to know this guy! This is actually a very rare reaction from me since few men actually fit even half of what I would expect in a partner.
Jerry from Allentown.
I wanted to know this guy!! So, what intrigued me?
He put out there that first and foremost he is a Christian and he was looking for a Christian, not someone who SAYS they are in words only. That is ME! He also said he does not do clubs, drink or smoke – me either! He said he goes to church – me too!! I was so excited to see a man put this out to the world because one does not see this too much on dating apps. I wanted to meet this man!
I can’t remember what else was in his profile, but I will definitely say he was not the typical person I would want to date, but he was absolutely worth taking a chance on. Or was he?
First, I was scrolling through the app before I went to sleep and it was really late (like 3 AM late). I actually finished working on a project for my business at 1 AM and was reading on my phone before bed. As an entrepreneur, sometimes I am inspired late at night and actually work at that time – even on weekends.
I messaged him a simple greeting and followed by asking if he was in Allentown or one of the suburban towns. He apparently replied around 4 am. And he asked where I disappeared to. Um… I went to sleep. Something normal that everyone does. I thought that was a weird question at that time of day.
So when I woke up, I saw there was a message. I replied that I did not go anywhere and explained I don’t always see those notifications because, for some unknown reason, Facebook does not show those notifications on the laptop and I rarely check notifications on my phone.
He replied something like “who even are you?” To which I replied that I was not sure what he meant and I was confused. I was. I thought this guy on paper (okay phone) was my dream guy who I never see on dating apps, and I was exactly who he SAID he wanted to meet and he was the same for me! I was really confused.
He replied that he does not have time for games and people playing with him. At the same time, he was sending me that reply, I was sending him a message that if he wanted to connect on social media (ALWAYS against my better judgment), we could do that so he could see who I am, which is who I say I am. I was serious about wanting to meet this guy. After I hit “send” I saw he sent me the message. And then, “poof” he deleted me. He never saw my message.
I was heartbroken.
After years of taking myself out of the dating game, one of my first encounters shoved into my face all the reasons I stopped online dating. The disappointment is painful. When you are on the apps and this is the norm, you become disheartened at the state of humanity. You begin to wonder if there are any good people out there. You get your hopes up that this one could be a decent normal man, and then your hopes are crushed by the reality of online dating.
The disappointment is soul-crushing for me. And that is why I stopped dating several years ago. Have I met some great guys online? YES!!! Absolutely! But they were not the right ones for me.
So, was Jerry from Allentown sincere in who he said he was? I may never know. He gave me hope, but that hope was crushed in under 24 hours.
Being a Christian dating online is excruciatingly painful at times because so many people classify themselves as Christian, but that is in name only and not by action. Very few men attend church if left to their own devices and even fewer men actually live a truly Christian life, which is what I am looking for.
I am not sure what went wrong with a simple greeting and attempt to have a conversation. I can only make some assumptions as to what happened. I don’t understand how people expect to meet anyone if they don’t even give them a chance at a conversation. He liked MY profile before I liked his (I will never chase or talk to someone who is not FIRST interested in me). So, he was interested in me.
I would love to hear from you about what you think went wrong. Have you had a similar experience?
So, Jerry from Allentown. Your loss. I am the real deal.
Back to square one.