Handling the Clutter

Handling ClutterLet’s be honest.  We are never going to get rid of all of the clutter we carry around.  Life is still going to happen and problems are still going to arise in our lives.  We can only learn to manage the stress and clutter it creates.  Dating after 40 can turn into quite the juggling act.  If it was not so stressful, it would almost be funny.  By the time we reach our 40’s most of us have demanding careers.  On top of this, many have children that demand just as much time and attention.  Being a taxi driver for our kids, cheerleader at games, along with the cook, maid, and many other roles can take its toll on us leaving us feeling physically drained and mentally exhausted.  There is never enough time in a day to get everything done we feel we need to accomplish.  Just the thought of fitting dating and a potential relationship into our busy schedules can be overwhelming.  Do not be mistaken here, a man will not arrive to rescue you, and you should not be searching for that because that will never lead you to the RIGHT man!

Clutter Word Cloud

Since I do not have children, I would be amiss in advising anyone on how to prioritize where children are concerned.  They should always be a priority, which is why I genuinely admire men who put their kids first – they should!  However, with the rest of our busy lives, we need to really evaluate what is important and what is not (it will be different for everyone).  Is dating important right now?  Or is your career in high gear and you need to focus on that?  Sometimes it just is not the right time to date, even if we want to find someone.  In order to attract the right man, we need to be in the right place in our heads.  If we are so busy with everything else in our lives, we may not have what it takes to attract the right man and have a healthy relationship.  Sometimes things in our lives need to be on hold until we can give them the priority in our lives they need in order to be successful at them.  I am only talking about finding a significant other here.  If one is already in a relationship, then the focus needs to be different.


So how do we get to the place we need to be to find Mr. Maybe if we are bogged down by life?  One suggestion would be to make lists of things we need to rid ourselves of to rid our minds of the clutter it creates there.  Then we need to get to work and systematically tackle that list.  While it may not happen over night, we eventually get to a place where we have room in our lives, minds and hearts for finding Mr. Maybe.  There is nothing sexy about this approach, but there is also nothing sexy about carrying all the clutter into a brand new relationship that has not even had the chance to root yet!  Rid yourself of as much as you can.  Sure, there will still be some clutter left, but it will be manageable, and you will be open to receiving the relationship you deserve!


5 thoughts on “Handling the Clutter

  1. I think the bigget problem i see is people with to many criteria. I run inot peopel that will use and excuse what so ever to not date. In one case we spoke for many hours before we meet. the subject of children came up and I told her i didnt have children after we meet that was the reason why we didnt date.

    1. I will be addressing a lot of these issues later in my blog. Everyone will have thier own criteria they look for in a significant other, as everyone should. Wouldn’t you rather have someone be honest with you up front and not waste time and effort on a relationship than have then not be honest and run into major problems later, after you put a lot of time and effort into the relationship. There are a lot of single people out there. I think we need to find the ones who work with our lives, and not try to make it fit. My blog is mainly about finding the RIGHT one, not the ones we want to be the right one. Keep reading. I hope my future blogs will help!

  2. Love the blog Lisa. As a professional organizer who specializes in residential organizer, I know the importance of eliminating the clutter in our homes, our heads and our lives. I work with women who are in a state of overwhelm when it comes to their clutter and don’t know where to begin. My mission is to free them of that clutter so they can make room in their lives for other things – like dating.

  3. Excellent blog. And how about people who clutter or overschedule their lives in such a way that there is no room for anyone else? I’ve been guilty of that in the past, not intentionally, but probably subconsciously. It can be your mind’s way of saying you’re afraid, or you’re not ready.

    1. Jenny, you are absolutely right! I have been guilty of that at times, also! Clutter does clog up our lives in many ways. We have to make room in both our lives and our heads for someone else to be there. If we have no room in our lives, but try to fit someone in, it may absolutely be a self-sabotaging act. On the flip side, if we subconsciously know we are not ready for a relationship, it could be viewed as a protective mechanism. We must decide we are ready, then take the steps to make room for a relationship to take place!

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