While I realize that not everyone wants to find a permanent union with another, I am writing from the perspective of wanting to find Mr. Maybe, the one you could potentially marry. In our quest to find Mr. Maybe, we go through many ups and downs, we mask our disappointment, and bravely trudge on. We guard our hearts with an iron shield against the craziness out in the world. We keep our faith in man mainly because we do see happy couples every day and know that there is some possibility of us having this also. We have friends who have found their Mr. Maybe, or even “the one.” And yet, where is our Mr. maybe?
As I addressed before, we need to do a self-evaluation before we even consider dating. This will allow us to date more appropriately. In part of this self-evaluation, we should look at our negotiables and our non-negotiables. Before I get into this, first we should have these terms defined.
A negotiable is something that can easily be negotiated or transferred. It is something that can be easily agreed upon. In other words, it is something that easily passes our list of things we look for in a significant other. It could be something we have in common, or at least have very similar views on.
A non-negotiable is something that cannot be changed. It is rigid in form and could be considered an obstruction. In relationship terms, this could be something that you are looking for in someone that you absolutely MUST have. It could also be something that is the core of who a person is and cannot be changed. Either way, you need to really think about this one.
Going forward, we will consider both negotiables and non-negotiables when evaluating our Mr. Maybe. Everyone will have a different set of criteria to evaluate. This is why looking into yourself is the key to really knowing what you want in your Mr. Maybe. If you have not done this yet, take some time with yourself. Make a date with yourself, go to a coffee shop, or find a nice quiet spot in your home to sit down and really evaluate who you are, where you are in your life right now and where you see yourself going. Write down the characteristics you want in the ideal partner you want to travel this road with. While you may want to see the end result of marriage as a final destination, living life is more about the journey. Who do you want to take that journey with? Be realistic and true to who you are, and not who you wish to be. It is critical that you are honest with yourself in order to get the best results when evaluating all the potential Mr. Maybes who cross your path. Life is in the journey, and you want to enjoy that journey with the right man!
9 thoughts on “Negotiables vs. Non-Negotiables”
This is a great post and should be marked as a must-read, or “Dating Basics 101”!
Thank you so much! This is basically the process I follow. It may not get you lots of dates, but it will get you the right dates!
Amen! I agree! I just posted a blog about my non-negotiables! Sticking to them is just the hardest part 🙂
It is because we always end up meeting men who are so much of what we are looking for except one huge thing. Unfortunately, that one thing may be the ruin of all potential.
Lisa, I mentioned you in my blog post for today: http://wp.me/p3yLoX-h9
Of course it was a “good” mention!
Thank you so much for the mention! I just read your blog post. I love your writing style!