In our quest for love, sometimes we try so hard we do not realize what we are doing or saying can be counterproductive. While we need to ask questions in order to determine if our date is someone we want to continue a relationship with, we have to be smart about the questions we ask and the messages we send out. We need to realize that men are not women, and they do not think like women, either. There are a few subjects that should be saved for later in a relationship, and some that are just never good to ask. Here are two that will surely send most men running the other direction:
This should be a no-brainer. However, sometimes women forget this because they want to be married and they feel they need to let the man know this, or they are nervous and blurt out things like this to try to make conversation. While this subject will need to be addressed at some point if that’s the direction you want to go, it is never a good idea to address it within the first few dates. Most women realize that many men have a fear of marriage for a variety of reasons. There may be a fear of being “tied down” or not being “free.” Or some men may feel a loss of control in their lives if they feel they are being pressured or forced into something or feeling a specific way. My suggestion is to allow the relationship to progress naturally. There needs to be a certain level of connection to address this subject. When women put this out, they do not mean they want to marry that particular man or at that particular time, men hear something quite different and if the subject of wanting to be married is approached too soon, they will run the other direction if they are not in a place where they could actually see it with you. Yes, some of us may want to be married, but we need to keep this conversation to ourselves until we have a deep connection with the man we are having the conversation with!
2. His “Type”
Another subject sure to make a man cringe is asking his “type” of woman. First of all, do you really want an answer to that? Ladies, if a man answers this one with what pops into his head, I assure you it will not be anything you want to hear or could ever live up to. A man’s “type” is not necessarily who his ideal mate is. Men are visual and when you are asking a type, many men will conjure up images of what they want a woman to look like, followed by all of their ideal personality characteristics. This is hardly a real human, just as your fantasy guy is not real. Do not make your date squirm, or put yourself through this! Leave this one alone! You may be his ideal woman, but he does not yet know it. Why torture yourself and feed all the insecurities we all carry around? Learn about each other and allow your relationship to grow naturally. Do not try to force your way in by trying to meet an ideal that does not exist in real life.
Of course, if you are on a date and you want to send him running, feel free to talk about these. I do NOT guarantee these subjects will send the wrong guy running. He could be one of the few guys these subjects do not send running. But do not chance talking about these to someone who could potentially be the right guy. You want him to be around to get to know you! Happy dating!