A More Active First Date

Some people prefer a more active date than dinner, brunch, or coffee.  There are plenty of things to do on a first date that are also great for getting to know someone.  The first option is to go to a park, garden, or other recreation area for a stroll.  In this environment, you have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other without having to stare at each other across a table.  If you both like horticulture, go to a garden and enjoy that while getting to know each other.  I will put out a few cautions here, though.  If you do choose something like this and you have never met the person before, make sure you are going to a place that there are other people and you feel safe.  Do not go for a walk on secluded paths, such as hiking, until you know the person you are with. While this should go without saying, sometimes when we communicate online, we feel like we know the person a little – WE DON’T.  Stop for ice cream or a frosty drink on a hot day and enjoy that while chatting.

  If you prefer something a little more active, you could opt for a short bike ride together, or even ice skating at a local rink in the winter.  Anything you both agree is fun, but always make sure you are around other people on a first date.  Shooting pool or Quizzo at the local hang out are some other options you may want to explore, if they are of interest to both of you.

While there are many things to do on a first date that provide ample time to get to know each other, there are also some things I would not recommend.  Steer clear of movies, theater, bars with loud music, sports events, concerts, or any other similar venue.  While you both may enjoy some of these activities, they do not provide ample time to talk and get to know each other – and that is the whole point of a first date.  Save these things for later.  If you do find your Mr. Maybe there will be plenty of time to enjoy these things together in the future.  Right now, on your first date, your goal should be to walk away from the date with a feel for who your date is as a person.

Again, my recommendation would be to keep your activity date short.  You do not want to overwhelm your date by appearing too needy.  Prior to your date, make a list of things you would like to know about your date, and have them in your head as conversation subjects.  Do not blast them off like you are interviewing your date, but get them to flow into the conversation naturally when the time is appropriate.  Make a point to guide to conversation to those areas if you need to, but make sure you get your questions answered.  You want to walk away from your date feeling like you have as accurate an assessment of your date as possible from one date.  Most importantly, don’t forget this is a date!!  Relax and enjoy the date.  The more you smile and laugh, the more attractive you will be!

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