So you have had a great dinner date and the night is winding down. There is always that awkward time when you have to decide how to part ways and whether or not you want to see each other again. Some men (not all, and definitely not the ones we want to keep) take this opportunity to see if they can get you into bed. My take on this is one of two reasons:
1) They know they will not be seeing you again and they figure they will get what they can out of you (users and players)
2) They just paid for dinner and they think you owe them something.
I have a few things to say on this subject. Ladies, by the time you reach your 40’s you should have learned this lesson well. Never, ever give in to the man who wants sex when he first meets you. This rarely leads to anything good! You will probably never see him again, leaving you feeling used and upset with yourself. While he may be a master at making you feel special, you had better believe he is using this same tactic on just about every woman he meets. You are not special is he does this, but just one in a long list of women he has manipulated. If you are truly special to a man, he will respect you and never put you in this situation. He will wait until he knows you and knows he wants a future with you.
On my second point, a great dinner and a great date does not mean you need to take it further. This is a first date! Some men feel that if they treat women to dinner, then she owes them some kind of sexual favor in return. This could not be further from the truth! If a man takes you to dinner on a first date and pays for the date, it should be because he wants to have a nice evening spending time with you and getting to know you. Dinner is a perfect opportunity to sit across from each other and have a real conversation that will help you better evaluate the person you are on the date with. This is beneficial to both of you.
Since many men have provider instincts, they usually will pay – even if you offer to help (and if they do not, think twice about the type of man they are). Ladies, you owe them nothing and should not ever think you do! Men, if you think women owe you something for a date, keep reading (my blog) for what women really want when they first start dating someone. You should both be on this date for one reason only – to find your Mr. or Ms. Maybe. If your intentions align with your actions, then the date will be productive in meeting your reason for being there in the first place! The whole idea is to have a fun date while getting to know each other, and nothing more. There should not be any expectations other than this on a first date by either party. Sit back and enjoy your time getting to know each other. Savor the newness and the possibilities!
- Yourwellness Magazine Follows Up Online Dating Study (prweb.com)
- You’ll Spend $17,265 on Dating in Your Lifetime (mix1065fm.cbslocal.com)
- Sex on the First Date; Yay or Nay? (thewanderingangel.wordpress.com)