Although many of the so-called rules have changed over the decades, one thing remains the same for women over 40. They like to be courted! There is a reason romance novels have stood the test of time and continue to sell very well. From the time we were very little to the time we were in high school, we have been “programmed” by our families and certain societal influences from movies to basic social norms.
Women over 40, although they have grown into very strong women, still grew up in a time where chivalry and courting were seen as something to desire. We watched Cinderella and Snow White, and were told our “Prince Charming” was out there somewhere. While we have come to realize that there really is no such thing as a Prince Charming, we still long to be treated like someone special by the man we adore. We are very capable of opening our own car door, pulling out our chair, or getting our coat on, but there is something so charming about a man who will extend himself to do these things. It is almost a sweetness that has been lost on our younger generations. It touches our hearts like that romance novel we secretly read. Chivalry is definitely not dead to us.
As we grew up into women, we were taught to make our own money and not rely on a man. We are definitely capable of that. However, no matter how strong and capable a woman appears, she many times secretly harbors a longing to be treated like a princess and be courted. Who does not like to have a man bring her flowers or send her a little note that is unexpected? We want to feel special, and that is what courting accomplishes.
Many men (and women) are confused by the (so-called) rules. They try to live by instruction manuals on how many dates for this and how many months for that. Throw these rules out! You are playing with your heart and you should be looking at each individual situation for what it is and not by a playbook. Courtship lets a woman know you want her and only her. It makes her feel special and appreciated for who she is. At a time when women wear many hats – they make a decent income and have jobs outside the home, they bear children, they play chauffeur to their children, they take care of the household. etc. – being courted is one way a man can truly show just how much he appreciates the woman in his life.
Will some women not be as appreciative as others? Surely, you may find some who insist that they do not want this treatment (or need it). However, let me be clear here, just because a woman may (or may not) want to be courted does not mean she needs it. Most women today are absolutely independent and can take care of themselves. The point is that the charm of courtship is still alive and present, and will still be appreciated by the right woman. We all like to feel special to those most important in our lives, so let’s not throw this part of dating away!